August 6th 2012, Professional Gaming?

Dear Diary,

It was our first cell group tonight with me as the cell group leader, after having Nathan "step-down". Just as I had predicted, not many people would turn up, but I suppose it's okay. I just really hope that those that didn't turn up did not do so because of their lack of confidence in my leadership. Meh, I can't blame myself if they choose to judge me on perception. It was a really really good session today though; the most helpful the cell has had in a long time and I wasn't the only one who felt that way :)

Me and two other friends decided we'd play a little LAN gaming after cell and we really enjoyed it and all. Just hope we don't get addicted to it lol. It's so strange you know? Imagining gay gamers. Haha, silly stereotypes.

Anyways when I got back all I could think of was gaming and I googled options in being paid to game. Found a couple of jobs I could apply for, like a game tester (which I do hope I get) but I'm seriously considering professional gaming. Do I think I'm adequately competent in gaming to get paid to do it? No. But I really enjoy it so that must count for something. But I won't let myself be bothered over it; I'll let God show me if it's something I was supposed to do. :)

August 6, 2012 I'm getting my groove back!

Dear Diary,

I spent the whole of last night watching videos about being vegan. I think any thoughts of going back to my old diet are now out of my mind... At least for now.

I realize I don't stock up on vegan essentials that give me an exciting diet which is probably why people around me always view my diet as inferior to theirs. Since I just got myself a new part time job, I guess I can afford to go shopping for some real good vegan food!

Ha, haven't felt this excited being vegan for a while ;)

6th August 2012, I'm sorry!

Dear Diary,

Today I found some chocolate cake on the dining table and am really ashamed that I sneaked away and ate a slice of it outside the bathroom (where no one could see). Sometimes, reminding myself why I'm vegan in the first place is not enough to overcome some of the temptations I guess.

Later that night, I ate some fried noodles and rice which had meat in em (but i obviously DIDN'T eat the meat, i just ate the noodles) and my brother was really shocked because he knows I don't usually do stuff like that.

So I just wanted to say I'm sorry to the animals that suffered for those dishes that I helped consume, but more importantly to myself as well because I seemed to have cheated myself today. Feeling really bad about it. I guess no one is perfect and we can't blame ourselves all the time when we falter. I really hope to be vegan my entire life and if that is to come true, imma have to find a solution to these cravings I've been having recently. God, have mercy on me!