I'm waiting on you

亲爱的，

I must be honest, I seem no longer frustrated at you for not replying, or just simply, not being there. I don't know, maybe I've settled in and have understood the dynamics of our relationship. I still do with you would reply me more often though :)

I stalk your WeChat everyday, hoping to see a new post from you so that I can quickly translate it and find out what's going on in your life, what is in your mind etc. Mind you, some of the things you share, take a lot of effort translating! I wonder if you would appreciate my effort. It's okay I would have done it either way.

I find it strange when you thank me for thinking of you. I don't know if it's a cultural difference or it's just your character; does it mean you don't think of me? Yet sometimes you randomly message me saying you think of me often. I am confused, honestly.

Two nights ago, my 'godmother' called me up in the middle of the night. She said she had been praying about my situation (as in you know, you and me) and she said God had revealed to her that you were just making use of me, nothing more. You have no feelings for me whatsoever. She was so hesitant to say it and kept beating around the bush. That was annoying haha.

What she said is not something I haven't thought of. It really changes very little. Just want you to know it doesn't matter if you love me or not, I always will cherish you and our times together. I know that you still say to me that you love me and so on. It's okay if you don't really mean it. I wish I could express to you how much you mean to me - that I want you to be honest and real with me, and that it would not make you any less desirable to me. Just that, my chinese not good enough for that, haha. In time maybe :)

I've postponed my trip to china, as per your request. Would you please let me know when I can make my way there? I would like to see you again sometime. You asked me to trust you right? So here I am patiently waiting. 

hugs and kisses.
AJ