Today is the 11th of February, which means it's been a month since you left Singapore. Must be all nice and settled in China now. Wonder how it is over where you're at.
Ever since I told myself that I have to move on, the pain in my heart has intensified. I thought I would feel better if I let you go but instead I feel worse. These last few nights have been horrible. It goes without saying that I have not slept well at all, but even when I do sleep my subconscious haunts me with images of you. I wake up breathless and in tears almost every time. In my dreams, I win you and lose you all over again. Why my mind wants to torture me like that, I will never know.
I just wish I stop feeling so much pain and I asked myself what I could do to stop this pain. I realize that really, you are both my poison and my antidote.
Yet I am conflicted. On one hand, I know that if I keep you in my life, I will never truly get over you. Perhaps I am wrong. Perhaps the best thing for me to do is to re-establish our friendship; you know, like what we had when we first met. How we would tease each other as we had our meals. How you would ask me to translate your clients messages, how you would play with me in the gym and not care who was watching. I just want to be in your presence and remember how it is to enjoy your company. :)
I guess after all that's said and done, I still miss you.
"For whatever path we choose to take, there will be highs and there will be lows the same.
We'll never run from our mistakes, the harder we fall, the harder we try... again."
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